Every time I have a full time social relationship I feel like I’m temporarily whole again, no longer derived of joy and connection. It’s always filled with nerves and attachment and resentment even, and I’m conscious that it’s going to end one way or another, but at least for the moment I’m not so thirsty and alone.

It’s so conflcting because “support network” is such a basic necessity and people turn depressive and helpless without it, but it’s so hard to get at the same time.

How it ends: 1) no longer at the same job/school/city any more 2) they feel you are too attached to them